Open this photo in gallery: Look at your current social circle and professional network and ask, who do I want to develop a deeper relationship with?Getty Images Ask Women and Work Question: I’m looking for a mentor. How should I go about finding the right person and asking them to be my mentor? We asked Sarah Stockdale, founder and CEO at Growclass, to tackle this one: I think we’re taught in schools that you need this Yoda-like figure in your life who’s going to coach you and help you in your career and who is way ahead of you. But when you go out seeking a mentor like that, you may end up a little disappointed because you’re not finding the thing that you were promised to be true about a mentor. Those are hard shoes to fill. You need more than just a single person in your corner for your career. I see it more as a crew – I call them friend-tors – a chorus of people around you throughout your career, some of whom will be more senior than you, some of whom will be at your level and in different fields. Reframe it as building a personal board of directors, a community around your career. It’s not a traditional mentor-mentee relationship. It’s more of a professional friendship. They aren’t just imparting wisdom on you, you are also adding value to their career and helping them. You probably already know some people acting in this way in your life. You just haven’t thought of it as a formal mentorship relationship. Look at your current social circle and professional network and ask, who do I want to develop a deeper relationship with? And how can I go about that? A friend of mine only ever corresponded with their mentor via email because he’s a busy CEO. So, think about what makes sense for this person in terms of how they build relationships and what their bandwidth looks like. I have a group called the faux-workers – fake coworkers. We are all entrepreneurs running our own businesses and we’re helping each other all the time. That didn’t start out with me hand selecting a group of people and trying to bring them in. The goal was the friendship first, and then the way that we support each other’s careers came out of those relationships. Beyond your immediate circle, ask yourself, who has the career or the life that I want? Maybe you can get a 20-minute coffee with them. Maybe you can show up at an event they will be at. These relationships need to happen organically. It’s like asking someone to marry you before you’ve dated – you need to have history first for it to make sense. In that initial meeting, ask things like: ‘What’s keeping you up at night? How can I be helpful?’ You don’t want to say, ‘Can you be my mentor and answer all of my questions?’ It’s about being curious and interested. Then follow up, and not just when you want something. Remember their kids’ names. Be genuinely interested in their lives the same way you would with a new friend. That’s how relationships can develop into that personal board of directors. Have a question for Ask Women and Work? Email us at GWC@globeandmail.com Must reads Promotions can turn you from a good boss to bad boss Sabina Nawaz was a great manager until she became a lousy one. Early in her career at Microsoft, people called her the best boss they ever had. She coached them, supported their ambitions and cared about them as human beings. Then she was promoted – shoved, with one day’s notice while on parental leave to a senior role, when her boss left – and failed to adjust to the pace and demands of the new role. “Without realizing it, I slid from being a caring and supportive boss to one who was snippy and belligerent,” she says. Navigating ambiguity: Five steps for how to lead when the path is unclear Merge Gupta-Sunderji, CEO of the leadership development consultancy Turning Managers Into Leaders, lists some of the “everyday comments” she’s hearing in today’s workplaces: “As discussions about increased tariffs intensify, a supply manager wonders whether to place a large order now or risk higher costs later. A team lead hears that restructuring is imminent but lacks specifics on timing or severity. A project manager is tasked with integrating new artificial intelligence tools into the workflow, but expectations are unclear.” She adds, “These [comments] all have one thing in common – the need to make decisions and inspire confidence amid uncertainty. You may not have all the solutions, but a simple framework can help you stay grounded and take thoughtful action.” In case you missed it From strangers to co-founders: These entrepreneurs took a leap of faith to launch their business Fuzz Wax Bar started because of a “granny knit” sweater, says co-founder Jessie Frampton. In 2012, Ms. Frampton was thrift shopping at Value Village in Toronto when she came across the sweater. Uncertain whether to buy it, she tapped the shoulder of a stranger to ask their opinion. That stranger was Florence Gaven Rossavik, a film industry professional who had moved to Toronto from France, and who would soon become Frampton’s co-founder. “There’s a dash of ‘meant to be’ in our story, which I think is really fun,” Ms. Frampton says. The Globe Women's Collective hub Interested in more perspectives about women in the workplace? Find all stories on The Globe Women's Collective hub