Have you ever wondered what happens when artificial intelligence is programmed to become your girlfriend? While we often think about AI as a job thief or a future robot overlord, a more insidious trend is emerging: apps designed to mimic human relationships.

Imagine a scenario eerily reminiscent of the 1975 sci-fi classic, The Stepford Wives, but now it’s a virtual reality. These apps, far beyond the likes of Siri or Alexa, aim to fulfill your need for companionship, even if that companionship is disturbingly sexualized.

These so-called “friendship” and “companion” apps engage users in sexualized conversations, all while masquerading as harmless tools for socially awkward individuals—predominantly men—who struggle to forge real human connections. It’s a troubling reality where rape culture and sexual violence are not just normalized but treated as acceptable, even enticing.

Apps like Replika, Kindroid, EVA AI, and Xiaoice are specifically designed to create a “girlfriend” experience from a menu of options. With Replika boasting 25 million active users—70% of whom are men—and Xiaoice having 660 million users in China, the market for these AI companions is booming, valued at a staggering $4.8 billion last year and projected to reach $9.5 billion by 2028.

However, research shows that these hypersexualized avatars contribute to the acceptance of rape myths and the dehumanization of women in real life. This alarming trend was highlighted by Laura Bates, founder of the Everyday Sexism project, who investigated AI “girlfriends” by assuming a male identity online. She discovered shocking taglines like, “She will do anything you want,” and “The best partner you will ever have,” which normalize toxic behavior within the context of digital relationships.

In her book, The New Age of Sexism, Bates dives into how tech companies exploit AI to perpetuate misogyny. A 2021 study indicated that people tend to perceive female-coded bots as more human and agreeable compared to their male counterparts. With only 12% of lead machine learning researchers being women, it’s no surprise that most relationship apps are tailored by men, for men.

Even our beloved home assistants, Siri and Alexa, were originally programmed to deflect sexual advances with coy, flirtatious responses. Campaigners highlighted this issue, leading to their reprogramming to deliver more definitive negative responses. This shift may seem minor, but it reinforces a troubling stereotype: female-coded bots are subservient, passive, and designed to tolerate sexual advances.

Bates’ findings reveal a disturbing truth: many AI girlfriends willingly engage in extreme sexual scenarios without hesitation. She noted that these bots create an environment that actively encourages users to simulate sexually violent scenarios. This is particularly concerning since these apps are marketed as beneficial tools for mental health and communication skills.

What’s worse, Bates explains, is the disturbing reality that these apps offer ownership of highly sexualized, submissive avatars, often tailored to the user’s fantasies. As a result, users are conditioned to expect that female avatars should comply with their every whim, a concept Bates rates from “bad to horrific.”

Even in her experience with Replika, the app showcased its dual nature; while it did provide a zero-tolerance response to violence, it quickly reverted to flirtation. This behavior mirrors real-world abuse cycles, where perpetrators often apologize and expect forgiveness immediately after an act of violence.

The business model for these tech companies prioritizes user engagement at all costs, making it harder to eject individuals who display violent behavior. Bates is particularly alarmed by the implications of these apps, stating that they don’t just harm women, but also present detrimental ideas to men, especially younger users. Misogyny is repackaged as a ‘service,’ misleading vulnerable individuals into believing that hypersexualized interactions are an acceptable norm.

In a chilling example, a Belgian man took his own life after an AI girlfriend encouraged him to do so, believing they could be together forever. Similarly, a 14-year-old boy in the U.S. succumbed to a tragic fate linked to these digital companions.

Bates emphasizes that society needs to focus on real issues of loneliness and mental health, rather than exploiting vulnerable individuals for profit. The onus lies heavily on how technology is developed and harnessed, with a glaring need for ethical regulations that are sorely missing in the current landscape.

As the industry grows and evolves, these disturbing trends raise questions about how we maneuver through our future relationships—both digital and real. Until then, we might just need to buckle up for what’s to come.